As the New Year approaches I begin to contemplate resolutions for the upcoming year. In years past my resolutions have centered on things like weight loss, healthy habits, and an increase of personal wealth. This year though I have decided to go against the norm and focus on resolutions that I’ll improve my emotional well-being. It is with this in mind that I have chosen three resolutions for the New Year:
My first resolution is a lesson in gratitude. Gratitude has always been an elusive concept for me emotionally; both in showing gratitude and receiving it. Even as I write this I struggle with my thoughts on the concept. Due to events within my childhood I grew up believing that I should never depend on anyone. I believed that I was self-sufficient and therefor it would never be required of me to feel gratitude toward anyone. I felt no need to depend on anyone and though I was willing to put myself out there for others, my self-esteem was so low that I never felt worthy of anyone’s thanks or praise for the kindness I may have shown them. These beliefs cut me off from others – I insulted people who only wanted to show me kindness, friendship, love, and acceptance – people who found me worthy enough to make a connection with. My own cynical nature blocked me from seeing a basic fact of life; we are all connected. This connection is shown every time we help one another and when we show appreciation for what others do for us. It took a bleak episode in my life – one in which I was willing to lose everything including my own life – to change my view on giving and receiving gratitude. Many people refused to give up on me, and I am eternally grateful for every last one of them. They give me hope in a chaotic world. Slowly but surely I have been learning that it is okay to accept gratitude from others – We are all worthy of love and acceptance.
The second resolution that I am going to make is to start following my dreams. I have wanted to be a writer for most of my life. I have made every excuse in creation as to why I can’t pursue my writing – i.e – it’s not a practical career; can’t support myself and my child; I have no talent. I have pushed aside this dream so many times, but it still pushes itself to the forefront. There isn’t going to be anymore pushing it aside; now is the time. I may never write a best-selling novel, but I would rather try and fail than have the regret of never attempting my dream.
Last, but not least, my final resolution has to do with positive thinking. Unfortunately, I tend to see the glass as half empty instead of half full. If there are negative aspects of a situation, I would be the smartass that would be pointing them out – all the while saying how I am just “telling the truth.” I sometimes forget that my truth isn’t everyone’s truth. This changes as of this minute. It will take some work, but I am going to try to see the positive before I go looking for the negative. I want to enjoy every moment in life that I can. Besides improving my outlook on life, developing a positive attitude could be beneficial to my health – It is my understanding that positive thinking people tend to be healthier than those who practice negative thinking.
That is it for me. I wish you all a Happy New Year and may you have everything you need.