You’re reading a steamy romance and just when it starts to get a little hot under the collar, your fantasy is shattered by reading the words “Bearded Blood Sausage.” Ugh! Who came up with that?
There are a hundred questions in writing the sex scenes of a romance, is it too hot, not hot enough? What about the setting, passionate, awkward, or stiff as a board with no feeling at all? Needless to say it’s hard enough to write a scene that is so personal and intimate without throwing in words that completely ruin the mood, or make you laugh when you should be swooning.
During my first romance novel, coming out in the Unwrapping Love Anthology I had the joy of trying to describe genitalia in a sexy, non scientific way. There were the tried and true words that are a staple in almost every romance, but I took to the internet to see what I could find. I probably shouldn’t have done the search at two in the morning, or with a severe lack of sleep, but it came up with some HILARIOUS results. The jackpot of sites is right here:
This site has everything, from the normal to the extreme and everything in between.
Euphemisms can be good, if you use the right ones, and in the right context. My advice, if the term doesn’t turn you on, or makes you snicker like a little kid saying “butt” then it’s probably not a good word to use in your story. Because there is nothing sexy about a “One Eyed Trouser Trout” or a “Mom’s Homemade Slit Pie.” I could go on forever, but I will stop there.
I hope this not only helps in your next scene, but that you also have a good laugh too.